Toddler Tantrums: 3 Simple Strategies That Actually Work

Her Story & Co.
Jul 24
2 min read

Big Feelings Are Normal – But Overwhelming

If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums, you are absolutely not alone. Those sudden bursts of emotion – kicking, shouting, flopping on the floor in Sainsbury’s – are a totally normal part of your child’s development.

Their little brains are still learning to handle emotions, and you are their safe space to figure it all out.

Here are 3 simple, evidence-based strategies to help you stay calm and connected — even during the storm.

1. Name the Feeling

Toddlers don’t have the words yet to say “I’m frustrated” or “I need help.” So they show it – loudly!

Helping your toddler name what they’re feeling builds their brain’s emotional toolbox.

Try this:

“You’re feeling really cross because I said no.”

“You’re sad – you wanted the blue cup.”

“You’re frustrated – this puzzle is tricky!”

Why it works: Brain science shows that naming emotions calms the stress response. Over time, they’ll learn to say what they need instead of explode.

2. Validate Before You Redirect

Your child’s feelings aren’t bad – even if the behaviour is tough. When we skip straight to “stop that,” they feel dismissed. But when we acknowledge their emotion first, it helps them regulate faster.

Try this:

“I hear you – you didn’t want to leave the park. That’s really hard.”

“Yep, I know that makes you cross. Let’s breathe together.”

Why it works: Emotional validation calms the nervous system. You don’t have to fix the problem – just show them you’re with them in it.

3. Model Calm (Even if You’re Not Feeling It!)

Tantrums are contagious. If they’re dysregulated and you feel frazzled too, everything gets louder.

Take a breath. Ground yourself.

Try this:

Sit beside them. Don’t talk. Just be there. After the tantrum, reconnect with a cuddle, a story, or a little snack.

Why it works: You are their co-regulator. Your calm helps them return to calm.

Remember: Tantrums Aren’t Bad. They’re a Sign of a Growing Brain.

Tantrums happen when your toddler feels overwhelmed. Your job isn’t to stop all tantrums — it’s to help them get through it safely and learn over time how to manage their big emotions.

You’re doing that. Even when it feels messy.

Want Support That Actually Helps?

Join us for our Understanding Toddler Emotions Workshop — a relaxed, supportive session in Reading for parents just like you.

You’ll learn how to: